Growing Up As A Chubby Child And Body Image Issues

Growing up as a Chubby Kid and body Image:
Chubby Kid – Growing up as a chubby kid had profound effects on my self-esteem and my feeling of self-worth. I was always regarded as the kid that kept his “baby fat.” Therefore, I ‘d always avoid taking my shirt off in public, even while swimming. Clothes that comprised elastic was my clothes of choice. My parents always shielded me from the brutal truth that I really needed to lose some weight. My family, despite being “health food fanatics”, would be considered fat by today’s standards. I remember being told by my parents our family only has a glandular problem, and there is nothing we can do about our weight. I bought into this excuse “hook, line and sinker.” I was only predisposed to be hefty; it was in my genes.
In Elementary school, I was accepted along with my excessive weight because there were specific games by which hefty children have the advantage. In youth games for example red rover, tackle football, and dodge ball, colossus was an obvious advantage. Through the process of picking teams, I was always one of the first to be decided. In other games like tag, baseball, and “hide and seek” it proved to be a disadvantage. I was never a quick runner, agile athlete, nor a graceful gymnast. I used ton’t care about girls, as they were infected with “cooties” and were to be averted as if they had some incurable ailment. I used ton’t feel awful about myself, as I performed satisfactorily in some of the traditional boyhood games. The simple truth was that I excelled at some games and not at others. I did excel in the academic arena and was consequently accepted by my peers in these early years.
Body Image Problems & Growing Up as a Chubby Child
In middle school, the understanding of gender interest, the beginning of puberty, male dominance and sex-based competition shattered any self esteem which I held. My first year in middle school, the rules changed, and girls had been healed of their dreaded “cooties.” The lads or “men” as we referred to ourselves now, desired to be noticed by girls. We needed to hold their hands, we wanted to kiss them, or if we were extremely cool, reach the proverbial “first base.” The guys were now in competition with each other for the gals’ attention. New words had entered our vocabulary; words like zits, klutz, and pubes. My first year in middle school, as a chubby child, did not go well at all for me. I was the brunt of many jokes, and the girls would not be seen speaking to me. I was as unpopular as a zit and seen with precisely the same disregard. I became somewhat of a loner, as I figured nobody could hurt me if I did not allow anyone to get close to me. I started to seek refuge in the relaxation of my overprotective family, which just made my assessment even more critical. My self esteem and my feeling of self worth ended up in the bathroom. My chubby self began to turn to “comfort food” for consolation, which of course only made my situation worse.
It was at this time around within my life when Anna changed my outlook. This came about the first Monday after school had let out for the summertime. My two older sisters in high school would not be done with school until that Friday. My mother and dad both happened to be working, and I was to left home alone. Being at home without supervision, I was not permitted to go out, but the notion of having someone around hadn’t crossed my parents’ minds. That Monday morning, I ‘d determined to sunbathe and get a jump on my suntan, also hoping the sunlight would help clear my complexion. I was enjoying the sunlight when rang. Wrapping a towel around me, I answered the door, and there stood Anna. Anna being a year younger than I, we generally selected other buddies. She clarified that all the neighborhood children were either away on vacation, or had began summer school. She asked if I needed to come outside and ride bikes or something. Informing her that I could not go out and play, she asked what I was doing. I described that I was sunbathing, and that was why I was wrapped in a towel. She asked if she could join me, and we headed out to the backyard. We sat down on the blanket I’d sp read out before, and Anna asked why I was not removing my towel. I explained that I was self-conscious about being heavy and was embarrassed to take it away in front of her. Anna’s physique was the precise reverse of mine; she was as skinny as a rail, without any curves whatsoever. Anna also had a twelve inch scar on her left thigh, which she’d received as an infant in a vehicle accident. As we sat in the sun we shared our body image problems with one another, openly and candidly discussing how we felt about our body parts. Anna hated the fact that she hadn’t began to grow, but had resigned herself to the fact that she didn’t care what other people believed. We discussed how both of us were avoided by the kids our own age and how we were both teased on a daily basis.
I came to realize through Anna that we both had our own body issues. In reality, most everyone would like to change some part of these bodies. By discussing our own body problems with one another truthfully, openly, and without passing judgment, we came to be at peace with our “defects.” We spent the whole week together, each day meeting at my house. We both decided that we did not care what others thought anymore. We had freed ourselves from the weight of the judgment. We recognized that some people attempt to feel better about themselves by criticizing others. If anyone had a problem with our bodies, they possessed that problem, not us. By the end of that week, I was able to confront my demon that my weight wasn’t due to some strange glandular trouble and recognize my shortcoming. I ‘ve struggled all of my life to control my weight, but never have I fought to control how I feel about my body.
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Tags: body image, body shame, children and kids, fat shaming, teens
Group: Body Image Blogs, Social Activism
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